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Is Loneliness Real? Deal With It!
The first time I faced loneliness was when I finished high school and went to college in a different country. Everything was fine while I was at the airport saying all the good byes and getting all the hugs and kisses. But once I was by my lonesome on the plane, reality hit me and I became a mouse in a room full of hungry cats. I was scared out of my mind. The human mind only needs a small shove to jump of the cliff and during flight I almost went crazy. What if I get lost, what if they do not let me out of the airport, how do I find the hotel, thousands of questions flew through my mind and nobody could help me. Somehow I managed not only to leave the airport but to get to my hotel.
I was scared of getting lost so I did not leave the hotel until the next day to catch a bus to the university. Once there I felt safe and believed I would not have any more problems. Big mistake, nobody paid any attention to me, nobody cared if I died in a middle of a hallway, and I felt terribly alone. After a couple of months of the same routine I could not take it anymore, I had not said more than fifty words a day and I spent my time waiting for my family to call so I could to talk and be listened. I decided I had to do something or commit suicide. I started going out to the school grounds sitting under a tree reading a book. After a while people noticed me and started to say hello and in no time we would have real conversation and I was invited to go places.
It is in our minds
The point of this is that loneliness is in our minds, it is not physical, it is not real it is a figment of our imagination which makes us feel sorry for ourselves. Man has always lived in communities where they have interacted with others permanently. In fact there were communities that would punish bad actions or attitudes by banning the offender forever from their grounds condemning them to live alone for the rest of his life. It is possible that through time our brains have evolved to consider that being alone is bad and that there is some kind of problem with people who accept and appreciate the time they are alone.
Many years later I was contracted to start and build a farm in the middle of nowhere. There were no roads; no electricity not even running water was available. The first time I went to the place I walked for thirty kilometers through the bush until I found a suitable place to pitch my tent. I lived there for eight months alone most of the time working and talking with myself. This time there was no fear, no worry, no problem; I was at peace with myself and used time to read, to grow and to understand myself. The greatest lesson I learned there was that people felt alone because they wanted to and not because they really were alone.
Don’t stay miserable
Again, loneliness is a state of mind and it is up to you to get out or stay feeling miserable. If you want to see people, look out the window and feel envious because they are not alone. If you want to meet people, take a shower put on some nice clothes and smile. There are many people who would be honored to speak with you, to know you, to learn form. But you have to give them a chance, you have to go out and find them. If you are afraid to do it all you have to do is head for the nearest bar, order a beer and talk with the bartender. It is part of his job to listen to you. Use him to practice and regain your speaking abilities.
You feel lonely because you want to be lonely. You are a good person; a person who has a lot to give and a lot to receive too. It is your responsibility and no one else’s to make you happy. Take a chance and go for it, you will be rewarded by success. The world is for the brave not the cowardly. When you were a toddler taking your first steps, you fell and got up; you fell again and again got up. There was no fear, no worries. Nothing has changed, you are the same person; take the first step and then another and another. Do not be afraid, the majority of people are good even if it does not feel or look like it. The sound of a bullet is very loud and definite, the sound of a smile and a nice word are quiet. For every bullet or harsh word that hurts someone, millions of smiles and good words make people happy and erase loneliness from their lives. Take a chance, step into the light; it is a great place to be.